Thursday, May 21, 2009

Gay men and ideals of beauty

Matt over at InterstateQ has post four very informative and intuitive post about our community, click here visit his site. Click here for his other post 1, 2, 3, and 4.

The post I would like to talk about is most recent, called Gay Men and Ideals of Beauty, which I have, which I named my post after. It was written by Devon Hunter; visit his blog by clicking here.

As I sit here writing this post, which is just my personal thoughts on the subject matter, I know that an email will claimed that I have miss the point behind the story. That I have some type of internal homophobia, and that I’m a self-hating fag.

In the post he talks about the armor, we adapt to protect ourselves for rejection.
Beauty, and the pursuit of it, can be inspirational, but it is also the fuel for many destructive fires. Beauty can be dangerous. In fact, very often danger itself is exactly what defines beauty (or at least that which is desirable in some way). We gay men very often burn with desire to possess beauty, both our own and that of others.    
Yes the grand  played card in our little uptight community, the Beauty card, where if you don’t fit the def, up to 95% of you just don’t count. Yes in our little beauty obsession group, you must meet the high standards to be accepted.. When we dance we dance with one eye on the door, also waiting for the next bigger and better and hotter guy to walk in. for those who may or may not know what I’m talking, in community 9’s and 10’s ruled the floor. If your number falls below and 6 please just stay the hell home. To be a part of the in crowd you must be hot, young, sexy, and have a big o cock to boot, however the following are allowed in. Young men that are thin and sexy, sexy nerds, older built men are welcome too, and men with money, no matter how they look...
The desire-rejection cycle is powerful: We all desire, we all reject, we all complain about not being able to get the ones we want (while being pestered by the ones we don’t).
Never have there been a truer statement made. We all desire those that we know we can’t have, yet at the same time we reject those that would have us for who we are, base solely on how they look.
As Tim Bergling noted in “Chasing Adonis: Gay Men and the Pursuit of Perfection,” we are all involved in a cycle of longing and dismissal. Perhaps getting rid of desire would help. Fat chance! What about beauty? We could get rid of that, right? No. The world would be a far less inviting place without the inspiration we get from its many splendors.
So true again, that is how shallow we are. It’s all about the look, beauty, and sex appeal. However, a thing of beauty is a joy until sunrise. We all want to find someone to love us for us, for all our pro’s and con’s yet they must fit in what we call beautiful, sexy, hot and desirable.  For a good example just go and watch every episode of Queer as Folk (USA version) this is what our community is really like. I know many would disagree but really who are we try to kid. Let’s not forget the age range as well.. In many of our LGBT movies, they all portray us as the same type of body and looks, with older men (sometime a bit heavier) in as comic relief or trolls.  This isn’t just limit to our Movies, its in TV shows as well, that your pick from Will and Grace to any other TV show. To prove these points go out and rent or buy if you don’t own it already LOVE! Valour! Compassion. “Gregory invites seven friends to spend the summer at his large, secluded 19th-century home in upstate New York. The seven are: Bobby, Gregory's "significant other," who is blind but who loves to explore the home's garden using his sense of touch; Art and Perry, two "yuppies" who drive a Volvo and who celebrate their 14th anniversary together that summer; John, a dour expatriate Briton who loathes his twin brother James; Ramon, John's "companion," who is physically attracted to Bobby and immediately tries to seduce the blind man; James, a cheerful soul who is in the advanced stages of AIDS; and Buzz, a fan of traditional Broadway musicals who is dealing with his own HIV-positive status.”

This is the part I really have a problem with..
clip_image001Speaking as someone who pays his bills and eats because of the money he earns based on the way he looks: I am constantly warring with expectations. I cannot be everything to everyone, but it still hurts when someone with all his clothes on will size me up like a horse and dismiss me (or worse, insult me) while I am standing there naked. Every time I eat, work out, buy clothing, or step outside my door, I am instantly plunged into battle: Will I be able to maintain or improve my body fat (which is 8.3% as of two weeks ago, thank you very much) by eating this? Can I not work harder on my physique? Is that guy looking at me doing this exercise because I look ridiculous, or because he wants to try it himself? Do these pants make my ass look fat? Will I make enough in tips this week to cover this bill or that?
First off these he really look fat to you, no, I also bet that he isn’t rejected that often if at all (since he will be on the Sean Cody website soon). Most exotic dancers aren’t rejected at all. They are what most of us what and wish we had that body. However, I see this type of person reject many who don’t look or have the same type of body and or age. However If an older man with some weigh on him but very rich, powerful and well known then he is all for the guy as long it serve his needs (this is the case for many in CA, Hollywood).

This is what most gay men body type. Click to see post. Here is post of our community types.

As men, we are the shallowest group in the world, and we know it. However, we hate it when other points it out to us.

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