As a thirty-something gay male, my views on the current status of the GLBT community is somewhat at odds with others in the community. I was outed by a family member at the age of 18. I never got the chance to sit down with my family and tell them I was gay. It happens because my sister and I were fighting. Which in this case was odd since the last time we had a fight was before my father's death. Which if he was still alive at the time I wasn't outed, it would never have happen, and if he was still alive I'm sure that I would still been in the closet today.
Our family status affects the way, if and when we chose to come out. It always affects the way we see our new status within our family. Our relationship with our mother and father affects every aspect of our lives.
In my case my father die early in my life, those that think we choose this life will claim it was because there was no father figure in my life. If this was true then please tell me where I got the sensation to see another boy's privates long before he die. They always said you never forget your first, which is very true in my case. One might wonder just how old I was when I first touch other male in a sexual way. This was before I knew what it was called before or it was wrong, if it was to happen in today world the other boy would be in jail today. Then there are those that would claim I was gay because at some point in life I was sexually abused. I was once asked this by a very religious co-worker. They would be wrong on that as well. To this day I can remember everything about that night, and about him. I made all the moves.
I once wrote that I have been called a faggot, and that it didn't bother me. This is true since I can remember being call that way before I knew what it meant. The first time I heard the word was when I was in the fifth grade, it was said by another boy to me in front of a larger group of kids, and from that day it followed me although school. The boy whom called a faggot, come out in his first year in college. I'm sure it was his choice either. Simply he was caught in the act by his parents, whom were very religious, that night the young man was taking to the hospital. I later found out that the only person in his family whom would still talked to him was his mother, who knew that he was gay for years. Many mothers know when their children are gay or a lesbian, many of these mothers goes to great lengths to hide it from their children's father.
So hearing the word for years it doesn't bother me. Even today it doesn't bother; I don't care if they call me faggot, queer, or another other word. By the time I was a senior in school I have heard it all. I was never attack by the other boys (base on my sexuality), to tell the truth most simply stayed away from me (afraid of being can a fag themselves if they were seen with me). I can count all those whom I had sex with in my home town on one hand. Most of them we only fool around, never going all the way. Only two guys went all the way with me.
So living in small town American had a special affect on me, I don't see the glbt community in the same way as those in the community do.
I feel that our main goal should be equality treatment, not special rights. Even as Gays and lesbians we have the same rights as ever other American, with the exception of Marriage. We have the right to be protected in our homes and in our persons.
Yes I know that we can be fired for being gay from our jobs, and be force to moved from a rented home or apartment. Those are minor things that we can fix with new laws. Which many states have already done so? However we don't need laws that go against our other rights that we already have. We don't need hate laws, since I feel all act of violence is base on hate. If we are attacked, beaten, robbed, and ever murder we don't need a law to said it was base on a hate crime (due to our sexuality). When we do this we are saying that we need extra protection because we are unable to defend for ourselves.
On the current item what we are fighting for Marriage, first off we shouldn't be calling it gay marriage or same-sex marriage, it should be just called Marriage. Why do we feel the need to insert our sexual identity everything?
We are more than our sexual identities, we are first and foremost ourselves we each have a unique distinctiveness. Each one of us has gifts and unique ideals, we each see the world differently. When we can accept the world around and accept those things that we can't change then we will achieve what we want. By forcing this concept of marriage of people we are degrading ourselves. We are sinking to their levels. We can't change the norm which has been in place for over a thousand years in a few decades, this isn't a simple change like it was in the 70's to allow interracial couples to marry, it was accepted faster because it was a man and a woman.
Now we come along in the late nineties and every 2000's seeking to change this over night. This type of social institution is one of the oldest one we have, yes it was base on and is deeply embedded in religion. Till we find a way around the religion angle, this matter will not be resolved any time soon
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